Lessons from a 4 year old...

1. Celebrating life isn't just about birthdays...or humans. A few weeks ago, Jack found a roly poly in the sandbox. Oh, the enthusiasm over such a tiny bug almost overwhelmed him. And then watching him marvel over the bug while he tried to figure out how it managed to get into the sandbox was equally entertaining. And then when I showed him the way "Harry" could roll into a ball to protect himself, the light in his eyes made me smile. Watching this Jack's enthusiasm for life of all forms has encouraged me to notice the tiny things. Like the ants in my kitchen...a nuisance, sure...but how did something so small know to crawl all the way up the house to the window? Then how did it know my sugar jar was on the opposite side of the kitchen? THEN how did it find it's way back to the window? It's really quite incredible when things are put in Jack's perspective.

2. Sometimes the wait for the fish is much better than the actual catch. On this particular day, we learned our ABC's, talked about his daddy (and how much we love him,) and out of the blue, this tiny sweet baby in a little boy's body says "I wuv you, Kaywee...all da way to the moon!" I don't know about you, but in my own life, I feel like I'm always waiting for something. Waiting to be a mommy, waiting to find a million dollars, waiting to move into our house, waiting to feel like a grown up. It's such a wonderful relief when something as genuine as being loved all the way to the moon makes the waiting a little easier to handle. So I'll wait for the fish to bite, as long as love still beats out the waiting.

3. Siblings really are your best friends. I am 4 years apart from both of my brothers (I suffer from Middle Child syndrome. I'm in constant need for affirmation. I'm okay with it.) My brothers and I were always in awkward stages because Bing was too old and Jared was too young. Jared and I played together all the time and we grew closer as the years went on. My older brother and I weren't as close because he moved out right as I was getting old enough to relate to him... And then Jack came around. And we both found out what real love was on the same day at the same time. We bonded that day in a way that we really hadn't before...and it never really went away. I've been Through a lot of bad friendships and bad relationships, but my brothers have remained constant in my life. I watch Jack and Stella love and comfort each other even though they're still too young to really have a relationship. I'm so thankful that when the rest of their world is chaotic, they'll still have each other, and most days I think they already know that. There's a lot of comfort in knowing that somebody always has your back, and who better to have your back than the ones who have never left you hanging?

4. Falling in Love is not always romantic. I had boyfriends in high school. I had plenty of people that I "loved." I made promises that I knew I wouldn't keep. I had found "the one" about 3 times, because those people made me happy, and that's what love is all about, right? Wrong. When Jack was born, it was all over for me and my love illusions. The minute they wheeled that big-headed baby into the waiting area, I lost my heart for the first time. Everything about him was beautiful. When he cried, I hurt for him. When he yawned, he may as well have hung the moon. When I put his hand in mine, I saw the beauty of our creator and realized for the first time how much he really must love us. The older he got, the harder I fell. I would've jumped off of a bridge if it meant he would laugh. When he said my name for the first time, my heart skipped a beat. I would lay in the floor with him for hours and just listen to him talk about nothing. I was head over heels for this perfect little human. I never wanted to break a promise to him. I wanted to be there for every chapter of his life, even when he started the "I don't want to go with you" phase. It amazes me how much I miss him, even now, when I can't make him stop talking at bedtime. I almost love him as much as I love Cody...and he knows it. So he taught me how to love, which has benefited me in so very many ways.

5. Getting older doesn't mean you stop dreaming. Cody and I took Jack to Lubbock for the day on his birthday this year. We spent most of the day at the science spectrum and then we took him to Toys R us to let him choose a toy for his present. This kid is OBSESSED with Buzz Lightyear, so of course that's the toy he had to have. We were eating dinner at Joe's Crab Shack, and just before they sang happy Birthday to him, I asked what he was going to do when he grew up. He said "I'm gonna work on da rig wike my daddy." I said, "Is that really what you wanna do?"  "Yeah." So I laughed and enjoyed the rest of our evening. On the drive back home, Jack was unusually quiet. I turned around and saw him staring with this crazy intense look on his face at his glow in the dark buzz lightyear. "What are you doing, Jack?" "How him light up like dat?" "He's a space ranger, that's his uniform." "Oh." About twenty minutes later, he sighed a heavy sigh and said "Kaywee?" "Yeah?" "I'm gonna be buzz lightyear when I get big like daddy." "I thought you said you wanted to work on the rig." "I will." "You just said you were gonna be Buzz Lightyear." "I'll do that too." I laughed...and then I started thinking about my own dreams as a child. Am I chasing the dreams I had as a child? Or am I settling into mediocrity because I'm getting too old to run? He's an attention getter, that Jack.

This was a really corny blog and I'm well aware of that. But these are things that I want to remember about him. These are pictures that I want to have a caption, not a "I don't know what you were doing here or why I held on to it." This is a kid that has changed me completely, and it's important to me that I remember why.

Jack has a little sister that's growing up quick and I know that there will be another set of lessons that I'll learn from her. Don't worry, I'll drown you with another sappy blog about her when the time comes.

Love never fails (Even when your Aunt uses your stories as a life lesson)

KG