We are on the road to Wheeler. This is a trip that I'm usually pretty pumped about, but today I dread the drive. I dread walking into a house where I won't find Dang, and I dread seeing the look on Nanny's face every time somebody offers condolences. Isn't that strange? I take comfort in writing, and if you want to be moved to tears by my words, I'm happy to oblige. I'm not the person you want around if you need comfort in sad circumstances. I'll give you the best hug I can, but I'll also offer a joke or a subject change. I never know what to say in those situations, so I usually just smile and stay back. I'm there to help in any way I can, but I won't have the words to comfort you. I know, I know... I'll work on it. I'm also so miserably full that it takes effort to move at all, so my back is getting stiffer by the moment. We just had the BEST lunch in the world... well, the best lunch in Sweetwater, Texas. Y'all... My world has been forever changed. My boss always talks about a restaurant he goes to called Allen's. My boss is a pretty picky guy, so I knew if he bragged about it, it had to be good. We punched the address into the GPS, and it led us to one of the scariest looking buildings I've ever seen. It was an old house, and the paint was chipping...and it looked like it would cave at any given moment. Cody went in to make sure we were at the right place, and came back out looking pumped.We went inside, sat down at a table of strangers, and waited for the next step. The next step was three carts of food being wheeled to our table. Bowls and Bowls of southern style food. IT. WAS. THE. BOMB. My pregnant stomach was full and delighted. And uncomfortable for the remainder of our three hour drive. So worth it.
Today is Saturday, and it was a long day.
The funeral was a nice funeral. Dang's life was celebrated and I think everybody left with good feelings of closure. That's really all you can ask for in a funeral, I think. I talked to a lot of strangers about Gaines fetus, and started feeling pretty rough toward the middle of the afternoon. I took a small coma and then we spent a little bit of time with Cody's other grandfather, who never really knows how to handle my firecracker of a personality. I've been hit with a flyswatter more in the last four years than any human should. We were pleasantly surprised to dine unexpectedly with one of our favorite couples in Wheeler, and though our visit was brief, we spent a great time laughing at my unfortunate pregnancy symptoms and sharing our enthusiasm for July. I tend to complain a lot, but Kelli gave birth to twin boys, so my issues pale in comparison... but at the same time, I'm five feet tall, and she has to be at least 6'9... so we're pretty much even. We always have the greatest intentions to spend time together whenever Cody and I visit, but time always seems to slip away, so this unexpected dinner was so fun for us. Don't you love those serendipitous occasions? I do.
Today is Sunday, and I am OVER road trips.
My bed, My bed, where for art thou cozy arms? Where for art thou welcoming slumber? I miss my bed, y'all. I love Wheeler and I love Cody, but I do not love sharing a bed with Cody in Wheeler. The bed was a double, I could literally watch spiders climbing the wall, and it was the equivalent to sleeping on large rock. I know everybody gets down a different way when it comes to comfortable sleeping, but homegirl needs her memory foam. I NEED the satisfaction of being surrounded by clouds. You won't find clouds in Wheeler. You'll find daddy long legs and rock beds. What I'm trying to say is that I'm just really excited to get into my own bed. I might decide to stay there until July. That's really all I have to say about this day. Super exciting, I know.
Today is Monday, and I slept for 13 hours last night.
It's true. I went to bed at 10, and I woke up at 11:30 this morning. I'm pretty sure the only reason I woke up is because my mom called to make sure I was still breathing. I forced myself to go to work, felt a little bit "off," but attributed it to excessive sleep. I was pretty irritable, had a headache for most of the day, and felt uncharacteristically nauseated. Cody called me and let me know that he had a fever, so after a quick visit to the doctor, he was diagnosed with the bronchitis (Ain't nobody got time for that!) and a pretty intense cold. Cody quarantined himself in our guestroom about 8 o'clock and I didn't see him again for the rest of the night. I treated myself to a "Friends" marathon, and found that I was still wide awake after midnight. I like to believe that it's because Cody is my Nyquil, because the sound of his sleep breathing makes me sleepy. The room was eerily quiet, and I spent the next hour contemplating whether I should set up camp in the bathroom or try to sleep through the nausea. I chose the latter, and I think I finally fell asleep around 1 A.M.
Today is Tuesday, and I don't really have a description for how I feel.
You're probably wondering why I was so detailed about my bedtime routine yesterday. It's because it was required to explain the events of today. About 4 o'clock this morning, I woke up and knew something wasn't right. There was a pain between my shoulder blades that I initially attributed to the way I was sleeping... I was pretty much sleeping in a "C" position. I straightened out and stretched a little bit, and when I inhaled to yawn, a blinding pain filled my upper abdomen... right about where your diaphragm hits. I thought it was nature calling (it's my blog, stop flaring your nostrils,) and so I went to the bathroom. When I stood up, the pain moved to my upper back. Nature never came and the pain never left, so I started to head back to bed. When I finally got into a comfortable enough position to breathe normally, the pain shot into my ribs. OH my word, I thought I was going to pass out. I tried calling out to Cody, but I didn't have a whole lot of volume because I couldn't catch my breath. I stayed still, praying for the pain to pass, but it never did. I started contemplating everything it could be, and actually thought I was having contractions. It was an intense pain that I've never experienced, and I tried calling the Emergency Room several times. I was crying in my bed, convinced that this was the bitter end. I thought about calling my mom, but didn't want to wake her up (yes, I'm that considerate in my moments of blinding pain.) I knew that I couldn't drive because the pain was making me dizzy. I finally sat up in the bed and put my head between my knees. I prayed with more fury than I've ever prayed, and looked over at the clock. It was 5:37. I had been battling "labor" for an hour and a half.
Then I realized that while every aspect of my abdomen was writhing in pain, the area where the baby was had no pain, No discomfort, not even a grumble. I thank the Lord for the peace that followed. I felt like I was in the seventh circle of hell, but I knew that duck was okay. I finally dozed off after I put a few pillows under my back, but each time I rolled onto my right side, the pain woke me back up. I woke up again for the remainder of the morning around 7:30, physically and mentally worn down, and anxiously awaited the doctor's office to open. I called my mom in the meantime, because I knew Fever McGee didn't belong in a room full of pregnant women. I made it to the doctor and made it about ten seconds into my list of symptoms before he started writing a sonogram referral for my abdomen. He cut me off and said "It's either kidney stones or your gallbladder... I'm willing to bet your gallbladder isn't functioning." He basically started talking about extracting it as soon as possible, what this means for my new diet, why he wants it out before 20 weeks, and why it's a perfect time for my gallbladder to give out. It was kind of a surreal moment, and I guess the doctor knew I zoned out, because he started talking to my mom instead of me. I can deal with surgery, but his new list of forbidden foods was enough to bring me to hysterics. I held it together, booked our confirmation sonogram, and then cried my eyes out in the car. I'm okay now, because this is simply what has to be done. I do feel bad that I've been cussing Duck over things that are likely the result of my bum gallbladder, but it's okay, hopefully it forgets soon. So, that's where we are, that's what I know, and I hold tight to the promise that nothing about the situation took the Lord by surprise.
Today is Wednesday, and I am IN LOVE.
Oh. My. Word. My sweetest sweet SWEET baby is adorable. It has to be the sweetest baby in the world. There's no possible way that anything could outsweet this baby. And I know whether it's a phoebe or a phoebo. I know the baby's name. I know the joy that this baby will bring to our family. But more on that later.
We went for our confirmation sonogram today. We went to confirm that my gallbladder was the culprit and not my kidneys, pancreas, or intestines. Let me tell you people something, if you ever get a referral for a "full abdominal ultrasound," I would recommend you prepare yourself for thirty minutes of poking, prodding, and "What else could you POSSIBLY be looking for?!" It was so stupidly uncomfortable. She found my gallblader (pretty much completely under my ribs...right where the pain was during the attack) and said "mm hmm." but still felt the need to examine every inch of my kidneys. Kidneys were the worst. She was pushing as hard as she possibly could to get a good picture. I had to hold my breath, turn on my right side, and flex my abs (haha, my "abs") to get a stupid photo of the perfectly healthy kidney. WHACK. What it all comes down to is that my gallbladder is technically still functioning. Unfortunately, I do have at least three stones. They're easily agitated, prone to flare up at their leisure, and if the doctor chooses not to extract my gallbladder, I basically get to eat steamed vegetables and chicken until I have this baby. I won't know the decision until he calls me, so there's a cliffhanger for us all.
There was a little bit of humor to this tale. When I came in, the ultrasound tech basically told me to prepare for a pelvic exam by inviting me to change and cover myself with a sheet. I said "um, I don't think you'll find what you're looking for there." And she looked at me, then at her chart, then said "I'll be right back." She came back inside red as a beet and said "I am SO SO sorry." So things were already awkward when I said "I mean, my gallbladder might be in my uterus, you're welcome to look." She said "I don't think your gallbladder is in your uterus" I said "It's worth checking." She looked at me like I was stupid, then said "No... that's a completely different exam anyway." So I was annoyed, because all I wanted to do was see my kid. She completed most of the exam before she said "OH MY GOSH." And I said "what?!?!" and she said "You're Pregnant!" in a tone that said "Now I understand why you were acting like such a doofus!" I said "Well, I hope so." She laughed for a while and then said "Of course we'll look at the baby." SCORE. We finished looking at every major organ in my abdomen, and the moment of truth was upon us. Did the baby have arms? Did the baby have both legs? These were legitimate fears, because pregnancy dreams are WHACK. Well, friends, I can confirm that baby has a backside, and baby has legs, and the baby has appropriate anatomy for it's specific sex... because that's ALL we saw when she found the baby. It's a good, great, and wonderful thing that we were okay with knowing the sex of the baby, because it made itself immediately evident. Even the tech said "Oh wow, it's a ___, isn't it?" It was hysterical. As if on cue, baby turned around and scared the life out of me. Why did NOBODY warn me about how terrifying the baby's face would be on a black and white ultrasound? Don't even pretend that it's cute and precious, because my reaction was more of a "What the WHAT!" I'll even post a picture that I found on google. I need you to understand.
It's been a crazy week. Definitely the most dramatic, definitely the most painful, definitely the most blissfully wonderful week. I'm already looking at bedding, paint colors, and diaper bags. I'm already praying for baby by name, and I'm already so excited to meet it that I'm BURSTING at the seams. I'm in love, Cody is OBSESSED, and the Lord is faithful... just as he always has been.
That's it for Week 15! Here's the bump, and next week we MIGHT announce gender. We're really just relishing this time together, bonding with our duck, and soaking in the knowledge that we can plan and pray for specific things for our love... it's really just the coolest thing. We're elated.
I'm sure I've said this before but I'm loving your blog!! I can literally go from "awww" one moment to giggling the next! Praying for you and the little butterbean!!
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