This week has been calm, drama free, doctor free, organ failure free, and nausea free. I've eaten foods that I haven't been able to touch since early October. I've finished my plate at dinner for the first time in months. I've pondered seconds, but try to keep my portions under control. I've gone to sleep and stayed asleep without writhing stomach pains. I've pondered the thought of a second child (not quite there yet.) I've even said that I'm enjoying pregnancy for the first time... ever.
I am so glad that I pursued the surgery. I can only IMAGINE how much better I would've felt LONG ago had I known the true culprit of my misery. My skin is clearing up, I haven't suffered a single headache (they were a daily occurrence for about three months), and it's been wonderful to just be happy again. I thank the Lord for a doctor who pushed me in the right direction without making me feel forced.
I started my registry because I wanted to remember the carseat I liked. I made it about 9 items in before I was too overwhelmed to function. So the registry is on standstill. I may cancel my baby shower to avoid dealing with that again.
That's seriously my only update... but what a short and boring blog it would be. Surely I can find something to write about... surely. Oh! I know! I can share a few fun facts about Ella. Everybody loves facts.
Let's begin with her name. Ella is a name we love for a million different reasons, but I'll name a few of the major ones. Cody and I have a major difference in opinions when it comes to names. I prefer simple elegance, while he's more into unique and foreign. I was relieved when we immediately agreed on a boy's name (which really should have been my first sign that she was a girl.) But I knew that she needed a name as soon as possible, because while we loved Duck, it wasn't going to work for much longer. So the reason we chose Ella is that it means Duck in Swahili. Ha! Just kidding. That was a joke. Back to the foreign names. Cody loved a few names that made me die inside, and one of those names was Zanella. He would really want me to make sure you understand that it isn't pronounced like Vanilla with a 'Z', but let's be real, it's how you read it. It's really pronounced "Zah-Nell-ah," but I still don't think it flows with Gaines, regardless of the way you spell it. If it were up to me, we would have named her Emma, so Ella was kind of a halfway point for us. As we threw Ella into the mix, I began to love it even more when I realized that it was a great tribute to my great-grandmother, Stella. My brother beat me to Stella a few years ago, but it's still nice that Ella can have a bit of that name to carry with her. I'm a little tired of hearing "Oh, a Stella and an Ella? That will get confusing." I disagree. If you know my family, nobody goes by their name. My brother is Bing (his name is Lee,) I go by Kay-dee (My name obviously isn't Katie), my little brother is George (his name is Jared), my nephew is Jack (His name is also Lee), and we call my niece Sister. I doubt that Ella will really be known only as Ella. So I really must brush the haters off. Another sentimental reason is that I began to hum "So This is Love" during my "bonding" time with my stomach. I write down my prayers, dreams, and plans for my relationship with my daughter in a journal, and it's just become a habit to hum along while I write. "So This is Love" is from the Disney film Cinderella. And no, my daughter isn't named after a Disney Princess, but I still think it's sweet, and because of it, her daddy and I call her Cinderellie a lot. I love it because my mom and dad always called me Cruella when I was little, so I love that history kind of repeats itself. So, there's her name. I've found all kinds of meanings for Ella in baby books. Everything from "bright light" to "Magical fairy" to "foreign" to "Goddess." So regardless of what the books say, now you know what Ella means to us. I don't know her middle name yet, because my Dad is choosing it. I've had a couple of "huh?" looks when we tell people that, but they're obviously the people that don't know me very well. My dad and I are closer than I am to most of my friends, so it's excessively important to me that Ella is close to him as well. I know it'll really mean something to her when she knows the history behind her name, and whatever he chooses will be carefully thought through, I'm sure of it.
Speaking of family names, Ella's Uncle George turned 19 this week! NINETEEN! When I was 19, I was ENGAGED. Plotting my marriage. Preparing to marry. To fathom Jared getting married is truly enough to make me wilt and convince him that he's too young, but I guess that's how my family felt. However, Nobody was changing Kaylea's mind. I knew what I knew, and I knew I was in love with the one the Lord prepared for me. So I'm basically just really glad Jared is single. Ella wished George a Happy Birthday, and it obviously melted him to his very core. Ella has that effect on people.
Now let's talk about her nursery. As previously discussed, I am anti-jungle animals, but I'm also anti-Grownupbedspreadconvertedtocrib. I want her to feel like a little girl. I wanted color, I wanted patterns, and I wanted something that didn't confine us to one particular theme. I finally logged onto Etsy. I had banned myself right after I found out I was pregnant because I was spending ENTIRELY too much money. I'm so glad I lifted the ban. I found a set that is all the shades in the world of green and pink. It's adorable, and I love it so. Now I'm left to ponder whether to paint the room pink or green... or if I have the desire to paint at all. Part of me sees the argument of a 6 year old being uninterested in a pretty pink room. I wanted a purple room when I was of opinionated age. The other part of me sees that she's only a baby once, and maybe the only baby I'll ever be responsible for decorating for. And I clearly know what's best for her in terms of a color palate that will correspond with her skin coloring... it's crucial that she looks like an angel in her bed while she sleeps. Yellow would never work for baby Gaines, because we're too pale. It would look like she had jaundice. Unacceptable. So I'll post a picture of the bedding so that everyone else can carry my burden on their shoulders.
Now let's talk about food aversions. I was curious to see what life after gallbladder would be like. Was Ella the reason I never had an appetite, or was it the failing organ? I'm not kidding, we would go to a restaurant and I would CRY because I knew I had to eat. Everything had the power to make me green in the face. I can't tell you the last time I finished a plate. I absolutely LOATHED lunch and dinner time. So I was curious to see what would happen after the gallbladder was out. For the most part, my appetite has returned. I never really have a need to eat, but when I sit down to eat, I find something that sounds good. I still don't do well with big portions, and I still turn my nose up at most Mexican food, but I feel much better knowing that Ella is getting a consistent food regimen now. I will say that this child HATES chicken. I've tried the tiniest bites, hiding it in my food, baking it, grilling it, frying it, steaming it (ha, Chicken is kind of like shrimp, I guess) and pretty much every marinade or seasoning there is. She will not tolerate it. As soon as it hits my taste buds I feel nauseated. And it's interesting, because pre-Ella, I avoided red meat and preferred chicken. How the cards have changed. So now, I see the giant slab of cow and while I (as my own, private, independent entity with an empty uterus) think to myself "Oh, Gross...," my taste buds and stomach absorb whatever they can get. So it's sad, because I miss chicken... but I guess Ella doesn't care. I also avoid onions... because even though I LOVE them, if there's any hint of crunch to the onion, even if it isn't raw, I can't take it. So when I cook (because I have the gusto to do that again... one thing I miss so much about my bum gallbladder,) I burn them EVERY TIME because I'm so determined to make sure they're translucent. I've pretty much just stopped adding them to my recipes. I also avoid most sweets, anything with a strong garlic smell, and mayonnaise. I also loved mayonnaise. Sacrifices, sacrifices.
What it all comes to is that I can laugh at pregnancy for the first time, and I love being able to say so. I can wake up in the morning and spend a little bit of time cuddling with my stomach without pain shocking through my system. I can look forward to the days to come, instead of crying that I'm only half way done. I look forward to falling madly in love with this baby as she continues to kick me in the bladder, stretches ligaments I didn't know existed, and wakes up when I prepare to sleep. It's so amazing that I can finally focus on her exclusively in this short, precious time together... and to say that I'm prepared for the rest of my pregnancy to fly by is an understatement. That's it! Here's the bump as we end our 19th week!
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