Turtle and Gus: Month Nine

We made it to one of my favorite milestones! Adam has been out of the womb for as long as he was IN the womb! I don't know why I always get so excited about this milestone... I'm usually such a sap about these things. You know, "Wah, saddest, kids growing up, baby practically one, these are the good old days, we're going to miss this, why is time so fast, blah blah blah." Maybe it's because I go through those emotions at least once an hour, every day. For some reason, I see this milestone as a "Heck yes, child! Look at all of the things we've accomplished in 39 weeks! Look at how huge you are, and how well my udders have sustained you! Look at how amazing and wonderful the human body is, to piece you together so perfectly!" And other similar thoughts. I think it's so cool, truly. But in the spirit of nostalgia, here's a picture of Adam in my belly the day that he was born (you can also see it as a "remember that time you thought you might want another baby and this picture reminded you that you're probably fine with two" photo), and then a picture of us on his 39 week birthday. He's about the same size, I would say.

This month really feels like a blur to me. This should teach me to blog ahead of time, because as most of you know by now, my sweet friend Alyssa was killed in a car accident last month, and anything that happened before then feels so long ago. Like, I'm seriously sitting here staring at the wall trying to think of what to type. I guess we could cover some basics.

Adam cut his first tooth on October 26th. It felt like the teething process. I never really knew that process with Ella, since she didn't cut a tooth until she was almost one, and one day a tooth was just there. Adam, however, decided cribs were overrated, the floor wasn't an acceptable play space, and snot became a new normal. He became the clingiest, whiniest, saddest baby in the land. Unfortunately, in the name of sleep, I stopped fighting the crib, and now the crib is dead to him. He sleeps on a pallet in the floor, or with me. Oh well, we made it nine months, I guess. Since then, we had three weeks of similar symptoms, and I thought "Dear Jesus, this is his new personality and I'm not cut out for it," and then he cut 3 teeth in 24 hours. THREE TEETH IN ONE DAY.

Adam also started standing up on his own. He's really great at it, but I think maybe his legs weigh too much to lift, because he's not super close to walking. Or interested in it, really. Although, I don't know that I would be super into it either if I was as efficient at the bear crawl as he is. The kid is a speed demon, and usually growls with his soul while he crawls. It's hilarious and I always look forward to it when he sets his sight on something far away.

While we're on it, I love boys. That was a weird sentence. I'll try again... I love being a mom to a boy baby. That's better, I think. I love that boys are boys from day one. Hmm, I did it again. But I don't know another way to word it. From day one, everything about Adam has just summed up perfectly to a little boy personality. These days, anything with wheels, dirt, and noise attract his attention like a moth to a flame. And they really weren't kidding about the way a boy loves his Mama. I can do no wrong. On my worst days, he shows me so much grace. On the days when I can only give half of me, because these kids don't sleep, and a human can only tolerate so many of days of that crap at once before their body begins shutting down. On the days that I stumble on a show called "The Great British Baking Show" and binge all the episodes in one day, occasionally throwing in a "Go away!" or a "Shhhh stop having fun, Mommy can't hear Mary Berry!" For the days that Cody comes home and is super involved and playful with our kids, and it makes me hate myself because so often I can't "unclench" enough to remember that these crazy children are still babies. And they need a Mom that rolls around in the floor and jumps out from behind walls to scream peek-a-boo. And somebody that treats them like babies instead of little miniature adults. Most days, I get it right... but on the days that I don't, Adam shows grace. From a sweet grin, to a shriek of excitement when I walk into a room, to smiling at me just before he falls asleep while nursing, to pushing his Dad away with all of his strength in order to hold me. I feel adored, loved, and cherished every single day through the love of my nine month old baby. And I just love seeing little glimpses of the love of the Father through my babies. 

We're still working on Ella showing grace. I think that's one of those "Apple/Tree" metaphors. She's a grudge holder, and she'll tell you about it when you cross a line. I don't know where she gets it. Okay, fine. I know where she gets it. I guess I should maybe recant a statement that I made in another blog. I recently said that I felt like Ella was a hermit, and I was wrong. I think Ella was sheltered, but now that she's been pushed into the public eye, she's found her groove... and though it pains me to say so, I feel like I'm raising an extrovert. Do you understand the clash of the titans involved here? I am in love with my husband, and crazy about these babies, but I'm not one of excessive amounts of affection. When it comes to cuddling, it's a "let's cuddle until we're both warm, and then let's roll over and enjoy our own space." When it comes to a couch buddy, "Hey, let's sit together, but sitting on my lap is probably a little much for me." When it comes to being touched every single minute of every single day, I'm really more of a "I'm about to lose every ounce of Kool-aid left in my pitcher" kind of girl. And I'm raising somebody that THRIVES on cuddling, being in my lap, and having some part of her body touching mine, every single second of every day. And it. is. exhausting. In an "ideal" environment, I'm really more of a "Let's turn off all the lights, light a fire, brew some coffee, and read a book by only the most necessary needed lamps." Ella is more of a "Let's see if we can make our house brighter than the sun, play music as LOUDLY as we can, and play with play dough! We can even put it up our nose!" She brings me her shoes three times a day and asks me to leave, because leaving this house makes her feel alive, and recharges her "sunshine" button. It takes great effort and motivation to make me leave my house, because being home recharges my soul. There are a lot of battles that ensue throughout the day as the two personalities go head-to-head. But it's all good. The extroverts need the introverts to teach them to be independent, and the introverts need the extroverts to remind them that vitamin D and human interactions are literally needed to survive. 

I guess technically this is where I would discuss his first Halloween... but there wasn't much to it. We took a picture of him in a Mickey Mouse outfit to correlate with his sister's Minnie outfit. She threw a fit because she's on a new "I hate the camera" kick and then we waved goodbye as Dad took her trick or treating for exactly one block before her second meltdown. Fast forward three weeks, we hit another big holiday. Adam's first Thanksgiving was much more enthusiastically received than Ella's. I know he's much older than she was, but even at 4 months, Adam was more curious about things we were eating than she was. He had basically a bite of everything he could try, and then ate more than double his portion of one of those whipped cream salads that old people make around the holidays. I think this particular salad was pear based.  He was a great ray of sunshine on a day that felt so dark, but sunshine is just kind of his personality.  Turtle ate her weight in macaroni and something my family calls "Pink Stuff." Another one of those salads, but this one is cherry based. You know, nothing nutritious, but loaded with calories. Which is all we really aim for with toddlers anyway. 

There are a lot of other things that I probably need to cover, but I'm just not into it today. Or yesterday... or last week... or the week before. It's interesting, because normally writing is how I cope. For example, the day Alyssa died, I wrote a blog through sobs. But since then, I haven't wanted to write. When I write, I think of her, because she always through such a hissy fit if my blog was even a day late. You would think it would inspire me to "blog on" in her memory, but all it does is remind me of what I've lost. Most of my memories of Alyssa are happy ones, but for some reason, this blog makes me a little sad right now. But I promise that all of my zingy snarky remarks will be back next blog... but I had to do this one before Adam turned 10 months. Here's his monthly picture, we'll see ya in a few weeks!