Week 30

Dear Tums,

I have to say that our love affair was unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome. That's a Levi Smith song, but I feel like it rings true in our lives. I've always judged others who depended on you, considered them weaklings and swore that I would never need your chalky residue in my life. I recognize my foolishness now, thankfully, and I'll spend the rest of my life celebrating your existence. You have been a relief in times of acidic peril, truly rescuing me from the depths of a darkness I've never known. My heart has burned, not with the passion of a lover, but with acid from Hades himself. I've come to need your berry flavored goodness in my life, despite my best attempts to fight the feeling.Thank you for your faithfulness, never disappointing me, even though it takes 45 of you an evening to keep the acid away from my esophagus. I'm forever indebted to you, and though our time remaining together is fleeting, I'll always hold a special place for you in my memories. Like Rose on Titanic remembered Jack. XOXOXOXO

Kaylea

Ya'll. Heartburn has plagued me since about week 23, but it was always kind of off and on, and it never really bothered me enough to change my diet. My life now revolves around what will cause the least amount of acidic damage to my throat. Because it doesn't matter what I eat, it's going to cause heartburn. I had a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich for a snack yesterday. Regretted it immediately. It's absolutely, positively, indubitably, completely the worst part of pregnancy for me. That's a big statement to make. Pregnant women deal with babies in rib cages (which tickles me more than it hurts,) ligaments waking you from a dead sleep if you move in the slightest wrong way, near constant back aches, front aches, shoulder aches, and sleep deprivation. Nausea at the most random times, dizzy spells from the hormones racing through your system, swelling of multiple extremities at once. Food Aversions, Food Cravings, Food binges, and a brand new digestive tract that very rarely cooperates. There are body changes that I can't even bring myself to discuss, but they are UGLY, and it's hard to look in the mirror lately. So for me to say that heartburn is the worst part of this ordeal speaks volumes about my hatred for it. I should really invest in the TUMS company, because maybe then I'll get some of my life savings back. God Bless Tums.

The garden is THRIVING. There are tiny little squash, squash blooms, zucchini galore, and tomatoes already weighing heavily on the branches. Nothing is edible yet, but I was really concerned about whether we needed to rip everything up and try again, or soldier through. The weather has not been an ally for us this year, and good weather is kind of an asset for a good garden. I hear that summer temps are on the horizon for us though, so really, it could only be about a week before I can chow down on some garden goods. I was finally brave enough to try some of the squash I blanched last year (I had never blanched squash for freezing before,) and it was amazing. AMAZING. So I'll be a blanching fool with my newborn baby this summer. Anyway, I don't know if it was a craving or a streak of inspiration, but I made Cody plant a few cantaloupe seeds. We've never done cantaloupe and I've never felt the need to, considering Pecos cantaloupes are sold on every corner of Odessa in the summer, but it's too late to turn back now. I figure worst case scenario, if they don't taste like they should, we don't plant cantaloupe next Summer. I love simple solutions. It's really hard to be a gardener in West Texas. You never really know where the line is. It's taking everything in my power not to throw green bean seeds in the ground. But I've never been very successful with green beans. I get like 2 green beans per plant. 6 green beans do not make a successful dinner. Cucumbers are also a battle that we have surrendered against. Even when we make them grow, they're so horribly bitter. They require mild temps and a lot of water... which is something we can't provide in West Texas. I also can't believe that it's almost time to plant the okra seeds again. Okra requires HOT temps and very little TLC. They're perfect for someone who doesn't really have time for a garden, but enjoys a little southern with their dinner. Ah. I love our garden. I love this season of our lives every year, and always resent the winter a bit when it rolls around. Here's a few pictures of our progress. Aren't squash blooms pretty? I would never think that a squash was on the other end of that flower. The tiny guys are the cantaloupes sprouting, and Elle just made me laugh with her Batdog impersonation while we pruned tomatoes this morning.

Ha, I love that the garden has completely taken over this blog about my pregnancy this week. My bad. This week was a tough week physically, but I'm sure that has something to do with my 4 pound baby taking her toll on my body. I'm going to have a super shallow moment and confess that I found my first "stomach" stretch mark. I've grown accustomed to stretch marks on my sides and thighs, but to see one on my stomach was crippling. Of course, I made a rookie mistake and ran to the closest scale, where I almost swallowed my teeth. I've grown so used to gaining just a couple of pounds a month, so to actually see that I'm really beginning to gain more than that is hard. It's not exactly an opportune time to begin dieting, but I'll definitely be cutting back on some of my carb intake. Carbs are just so convenient. I don't expect my doctor to be too disappointed in my weight, but I won't be surprised if he says "Hey Soul Sister, let's take er easy on the sweet tooth!" Actually, he would never say that, though I wish my Doctor called me Soul Sister. He's more the type to say "Hey, so we're gaining some weight..." then he'll see the look of shame on my face and say "Well, we're growing a baby, so it's not a big deal, but just keep in mind that you really only need about 300 extra calories per day... which isn't a whole lot." Subtle, but still a slap in the face. Oh well. I only have 9 more weeks. If I learn how to say "No" again to second portions, I should be alright.This also means that I should limit my fruit loops consumption to one bowl a day instead of four.

My ligaments are stretching pretty miserably this week. It's a pain equivalent to REALLY pulling a muscle, but there's not a whole lot you can do about it once they start their stuff. You grin and bear it... or hold your breath... or freeze whatever you're doing in case you can change the course of your destiny by backtracking. Some days aren't bad, but some days are miserably uncomfortable. But it's just another one of those things that you grow accustomed to. The baby lays sideways in my stomach, so most of the time, my back suffers the consequences of our day more than the rest of my body. We're praying with all of our souls that she turns soon, as I've been assured I'll get a little relief. Other than that, nothing has changed much. My appetite has increased dramatically, but it's a limited menu thanks to our good friend acid reflux. I feel pretty good most days, because I transitioned to part time hours at my job. I go in later and leave early, which gives me time to relax a little bit before Cody gets home and I resume wife duties. It's been one of the best decisions for us... as my moods are significantly happier, I don't go to bed at 10:02, and I'm generally a bit more patient with people. I love part-time. Beginning part-time also marked the beginning of my last month of work, so it's really pretty unbelievable that we're already to this point. The days used to drag, and now we're almost to the end. I love, love, love it!

I feel like I'm forgetting something, but that's just the way I live my life these days. My first Mother's Day was a sweet day, filled with continual affirmation from my husband that he chose the perfect woman to grow his baby, and that he was just as crazy about me as I am about him. At church that evening, we listened to a message that re-affirmed everything that I am as a mother AND woman to the Lord. I'm thankful for a church that strives to remind me that being a mother is not my identity, because I know that I'll tend to forget that when a baby is screaming her head off and I can't figure out why. I'm beginning to feel very prepared for the journey ahead, and I can only trust that it's because the Lord has heard my prayers. I've felt more peace about being her mom this week than I've felt since I saw those 2 pink lines. I've loved watching myself transition from fretful to relaxed, and I love that I can see that transition. My prayer times are filled with hopes and dreams instead of frets and worries, and I think maybe that's part of what has made these past couple of weeks seem so boring and uneventful. I'm not looking forward to labor, and I'm sure I'll be the laughing stock of the hospital when I start buzzing for my epidural after the first major contraction... but let's be honest, who wants to be the weirdo that enjoys pain? Exactly.

She is a sweet, wiggly, stubborn baby. She loves fruit, hates most Mexican food, and brings so much laughter into our lives. She has captivated our hearts, and we're already wondering how we ever lived without her. Well, I know how we lived. It involved a little more wine and a lot less antacids. It involved cereal for dinner and gallons of sweet tea. It involved a gallbladder and a functioning digestive system. I feel I'm straying from the sentiment. She is dearly loved and adored, and we're so excited for you to see her. Here's the bump as we enter into our 31st week of this pregnancy, beginning the 9 week countdown!

Also, a small side note for those invited to the baby shower, it's at the Ellen Noel Art Museum. Silly Alyssa forgot to mention that part when she typed the address. You're not at the wrong facility! It looks like this: