Well, We made it. Today is our anniversary. =]

I already wrote the sappy post, but I was going through some pictures and couldn't help but smile and plan another post.

I considered taking a picture on the 3rd of every month for the first year of our marriage, but I didn't feel like it was very original. I considered taking a picture of the most "memorable" thing we did each month...but I knew that cameras were never around when you needed them most. SO I decided that our rings would be the best way to document our first year together, and I'm so glad I kept up with it.

 This one was in Jamaica... I love sandy toes. This is one of my favorites.

 This was our key card in Jamaica...I thought it was hilarious that even the key cards relaxed you.

 Our first christmas. I love snowman decorations in all forms. So I love this picture.

 This one is kind of random, but the rings are actually sitting on the foundation of our house that's being built.

 Margaritaville in Jamaica.

 Our first Thanksgiving in Wheeler (Cody's old stomping grounds.)

 Cody met all of my oklahoma family this trip.

 Our First Valentine's Day

 I just thought it was a cute idea. =] It captures the rednecks we've become.

 Our First Easter

 First Anniversary trip.

 We have eaten here during the same week for the past 3 years. It's become a tradition of sorts.

I just thought it was cute. =]

These are a few of MANY that I've taken of our rings. I still have another SD card with another 25 or so of them. I love, love, love them. I love them so much, in fact, that I've decided to decorate our bedroom in the new house with them. I think it would be an awesome reminder of where we've been together so far...with plenty of blank space to remind us of where we're going.

So, here we are one July 3rd, 2010.

And here we are on July 2nd, 2011 (around midnight, so practically july 3rd)

I love the difference a year makes. Our faces are a little rounder, our smiles are still bright, and We still have the "Newlywed Smile," but there's a noticeable difference in comfort between the two pictures. Still insanely in love, but comfortable together. That makes me happy. I love that he still gives me butterflies.

 July 3rd, 2010.

July 3rd, 2011 (by the way, that may have been the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted.)

An amazing year with an amazing man, walking in the will of an Amazing Jesus. I can't stand the excitement of the next year. A new house, a new degree, a new vacation, the option of growing our family is another year closer....it's going to be amazing. To those who were around last July and to those who joined the fun over the past year, we love and thank you so much for walking with us through our first year. We're still learning about each other and somedays I wish I could punch him...but at the end of the day, his arms are where I still want to be... And that's worth celebrating every day.

"Today's the day my life begins. Today I become a man/woman. Today I become a husband/wife. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you. To our future. To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life, to take on love. To take on possibility and responsibility. Today, our life together begins. And I can't wait."

 

*Sniff* those were our vows. I watched my wedding video today, cried in my cheerios. What a wonderful, wonderful year.

 

Love Never Fails (even when you gag on your wedding cake)

KG

Lessons from a 4 year old...

1. Celebrating life isn't just about birthdays...or humans. A few weeks ago, Jack found a roly poly in the sandbox. Oh, the enthusiasm over such a tiny bug almost overwhelmed him. And then watching him marvel over the bug while he tried to figure out how it managed to get into the sandbox was equally entertaining. And then when I showed him the way "Harry" could roll into a ball to protect himself, the light in his eyes made me smile. Watching this Jack's enthusiasm for life of all forms has encouraged me to notice the tiny things. Like the ants in my kitchen...a nuisance, sure...but how did something so small know to crawl all the way up the house to the window? Then how did it know my sugar jar was on the opposite side of the kitchen? THEN how did it find it's way back to the window? It's really quite incredible when things are put in Jack's perspective.

2. Sometimes the wait for the fish is much better than the actual catch. On this particular day, we learned our ABC's, talked about his daddy (and how much we love him,) and out of the blue, this tiny sweet baby in a little boy's body says "I wuv you, Kaywee...all da way to the moon!" I don't know about you, but in my own life, I feel like I'm always waiting for something. Waiting to be a mommy, waiting to find a million dollars, waiting to move into our house, waiting to feel like a grown up. It's such a wonderful relief when something as genuine as being loved all the way to the moon makes the waiting a little easier to handle. So I'll wait for the fish to bite, as long as love still beats out the waiting.

3. Siblings really are your best friends. I am 4 years apart from both of my brothers (I suffer from Middle Child syndrome. I'm in constant need for affirmation. I'm okay with it.) My brothers and I were always in awkward stages because Bing was too old and Jared was too young. Jared and I played together all the time and we grew closer as the years went on. My older brother and I weren't as close because he moved out right as I was getting old enough to relate to him... And then Jack came around. And we both found out what real love was on the same day at the same time. We bonded that day in a way that we really hadn't before...and it never really went away. I've been Through a lot of bad friendships and bad relationships, but my brothers have remained constant in my life. I watch Jack and Stella love and comfort each other even though they're still too young to really have a relationship. I'm so thankful that when the rest of their world is chaotic, they'll still have each other, and most days I think they already know that. There's a lot of comfort in knowing that somebody always has your back, and who better to have your back than the ones who have never left you hanging?

4. Falling in Love is not always romantic. I had boyfriends in high school. I had plenty of people that I "loved." I made promises that I knew I wouldn't keep. I had found "the one" about 3 times, because those people made me happy, and that's what love is all about, right? Wrong. When Jack was born, it was all over for me and my love illusions. The minute they wheeled that big-headed baby into the waiting area, I lost my heart for the first time. Everything about him was beautiful. When he cried, I hurt for him. When he yawned, he may as well have hung the moon. When I put his hand in mine, I saw the beauty of our creator and realized for the first time how much he really must love us. The older he got, the harder I fell. I would've jumped off of a bridge if it meant he would laugh. When he said my name for the first time, my heart skipped a beat. I would lay in the floor with him for hours and just listen to him talk about nothing. I was head over heels for this perfect little human. I never wanted to break a promise to him. I wanted to be there for every chapter of his life, even when he started the "I don't want to go with you" phase. It amazes me how much I miss him, even now, when I can't make him stop talking at bedtime. I almost love him as much as I love Cody...and he knows it. So he taught me how to love, which has benefited me in so very many ways.

5. Getting older doesn't mean you stop dreaming. Cody and I took Jack to Lubbock for the day on his birthday this year. We spent most of the day at the science spectrum and then we took him to Toys R us to let him choose a toy for his present. This kid is OBSESSED with Buzz Lightyear, so of course that's the toy he had to have. We were eating dinner at Joe's Crab Shack, and just before they sang happy Birthday to him, I asked what he was going to do when he grew up. He said "I'm gonna work on da rig wike my daddy." I said, "Is that really what you wanna do?"  "Yeah." So I laughed and enjoyed the rest of our evening. On the drive back home, Jack was unusually quiet. I turned around and saw him staring with this crazy intense look on his face at his glow in the dark buzz lightyear. "What are you doing, Jack?" "How him light up like dat?" "He's a space ranger, that's his uniform." "Oh." About twenty minutes later, he sighed a heavy sigh and said "Kaywee?" "Yeah?" "I'm gonna be buzz lightyear when I get big like daddy." "I thought you said you wanted to work on the rig." "I will." "You just said you were gonna be Buzz Lightyear." "I'll do that too." I laughed...and then I started thinking about my own dreams as a child. Am I chasing the dreams I had as a child? Or am I settling into mediocrity because I'm getting too old to run? He's an attention getter, that Jack.

This was a really corny blog and I'm well aware of that. But these are things that I want to remember about him. These are pictures that I want to have a caption, not a "I don't know what you were doing here or why I held on to it." This is a kid that has changed me completely, and it's important to me that I remember why.

Jack has a little sister that's growing up quick and I know that there will be another set of lessons that I'll learn from her. Don't worry, I'll drown you with another sappy blog about her when the time comes.

Love never fails (Even when your Aunt uses your stories as a life lesson)

KG

The Anniversary Post

*Sigh of Relief*

I dropped my summer class. Am I disappointed? A little. Am I relieved? Absolutely.

Misery in a class is really quite the blessing in disguise. I was so bored. I was bored in a class that should have really intrigued me. Well, some of it was interesting...but the things that really should have captivated me ended up making me want to run into a brick wall. So I'm currently riding the fence about what to do next. I'm obviously trusting the Lord to make it a wide open door that I can't miss...or at least make the decision a peaceful one. Time shall tell! =D

It's almost our anniversary, y'all! This has been the fastest year of my entire life. It is so hilarious to me that that two months leading to the wedding drug on and on and on...and the past twelve months are almost a blur. Oh, that wedding. Have I ever shared that hurricane of a day with you? Let's check out a few highlights:

-The Wedding in General-
I did not want a wedding. Not one little bit. I was willing to go to the courthouse and have a really awesome two week honeymoon. I was willing to fly to the beach and get married in a white sundress and flip flops.  I was willing to go to Vegas. I was willing to get married on a Wednesday afternoon in the church prayer garden. Cody was not willing to do any of these things. Cody wanted a day to celebrate our wedding. It was a very dramatic decision. I finally threw my hands up and said "Fine, you invite 25 people and I'll do the same." For the record, my list had 14 people. They were all family.

-The Wedding Date-
I had convinced myself that if we were going to have a wedding, it was going to be bumpin'. So we decided to get married on October 23, 2010. I gave myself almost a year to find everything that would make my day amazing. I found my dream photographer, dress, someone to make my cake as weird as I wanted, and a decorator that was going to put Christmas lights EVERY WHERE for our evening wedding...and that's all I cared about. I decided that since it was fall, we'd do kind of an "Arabian Nights" theme. Dark purples, Blues, Oranges....it really would've been beautiful. The more people heard about it, the more people invited themselves. The more people that invited themselves, the bigger the dollar signs got. I almost had a cardiac arrest when I received the quotes from the caterers.

Around April, I thought that I might lose my mind if I had to make another decision. I think the final straw was somebody threatening not to come because they hadn't been invited to help me plan. I blew up, cried on my daddy's shoulder, and said "I couldn't handle anymore." So daddy shrugged and said "Then what are we waiting for?" I popped my head up and the wheels started turning. I considered a surprise wedding on the 4th of July. I thought it would be funny to invite our close friends and family to my parent's backyard and have the wedding there. Then I knew that the people who couldn't come would be upset about missing something that they didn't know was happening. So instead, I called Hannah Katherine to see if she had any July dates available (which I didn't find likely, because she was a rockstar and everybody wanted her at their wedding.) She had one. On July 3rd. I was super pumped, because 4th of July was (and is) my favorite holiday (I'm a firework freak) and we would ALWAYS have the day after our anniversary off of work. =] So the shotgun planning began.

-The Wedding Venue-
Of course, not everything was quite as simple. Our original venue was booked that weekend for a rodeo or something. No churches wanted "non-members" getting married at their church. There was an ADORABLE venue in Lubbock that was available, but we got tons of "Oh, well I don't want to drive all the way to Lubbock." and tons of "That's kind of complicated..."And it was, I'll acknowledge it. But it annoyed me enough to make me cry enough that it caused my Mother-In-Law to say "Why not at my house?" And then Life was good again. She has a gorgeous stretch of Land with Willow Trees everywhere and nothing surrounding it. I was picturing an evening wedding with lots of lights and bright colors. I was relieved. Plus, she lives in Wink...I knew that only the people that REALLY wanted to be a part of our day would drive to nowhere land. So, I let the ball roll.

-The Wedding Cake-
Cody and I always refer to each other as our "Lobster." It traces back to "Friends," where Phoebe claims that lobsters only have one mate for the duration of their lives. I thought it would be adorable to have a simple 3 tier white cake with a bride and groom lobster on the top of it . I found someone that was crazy enough to attempt this cake and I was quite excited. The week before the wedding, I got wind that said cake decorator moved to Dallas. One of my dear friends came to my rescue and helped me make about five dozen cupcakes. And THEN she made a little double tiered cake for us to cut and eat/ save for our one year anniversary. My best friend Julie and her best friend Julie helped us. Then they threw a surprise lingerie shower for me. My cheeks stayed red and I got a little emotional because of the overwhelming kindness, but what began as a disaster turned into one of my favorite wedding memories. Insane rainstorm and All.

-The Wedding Weather-
It was literally about this time last year that Hurricane Alex let his fury roar across the states. That fury roared right into West Texas. And it roared for a week. At the time, I thought to myself, "Yay!" I was thrilled that the grass was going to be a little greener and the flowers a little brighter. Then on July 2nd, that last little bit of hurricane rain blew in. My poor family (and friends that are practically family) were out in the rain trying to put tents up in case the weather kept up it's nonsense. It did. We didn't change any plans, but we called a little rinky dink church in Wink, just in case. We had a rehearsal dinner that night and we all laughed at the possibility of getting married in that church. The rain stopped for several hours and things were looking up for the Gaines Wedding.

I woke up on July 3rd and felt the dread creep over me. My room at the time had an enormous window in it, so if it was sunny, the room was bright. If it was cloudy, the room was dark as night. It was a dark room. I threw the covers over my head and cried a little bit before I got out of the bed. I walked into the living room and heard my mom on the phone in the bedroom with a hint of panic in her voice. Almost on cue, a clap of thunder rattled the house. My dad came in and said "Let's Talk." in every body's favorite dad voice. I stared at the fireplace the entire time he talked (I could really punch myself for being such a brat.) "Kayde, I think it's pretty obvious that it's raining now. And there's no sign of it stopping. And you need to think about the fact that even if it did stop, the mud would be awful out there. And even if the mud had time to dry, the mosquitos and the humidity would be enough to ruin the day...so we need to think about the church." I took a breath...shrugged...and said "Okay." What else could I do? My parents couldn't stop the rain or dry the dirt. Nobody could. I called Bailey (the same one who saved the wedding cake catastrophe) and cried about the venue in the privacy of my bedroom. She said "You know what, I think that getting married is the whole point of this day, so while the church may not be convenient, you'll still be married." And so I let it go. When all was said and done, the church was still rinky dinky, but my daddy sure made that altar pretty. There were so many people that worked their hind ends off to make our day beautiful, and for that I will always be thankful. 

The list literally goes on and on. My dress didn't fit me on my wedding day, so the back of it was safety pinned so that it didn't fall off. My wedding shoes were two different sizes (which I didn't notice because I foolishly opted out of "breaking them in.") The flowers that we ordered in April for the wedding never got ordered, so we bought flowers at Sam's and made our own bouquets/boutonnieres. A diamond fell out of my ring the day before the wedding. My nephew refused to carry the ring pillow so I threw one of my nieces into the job at the last minute(literally, as she was walking out the door to go down the aisle.) The humidity in the air caused my bridesmaids and my own hair to be flat and straight. So my dream of having my hair down and curly at my wedding was dashed... but in the end, we were married. And we were happy. And we don't remember a single detail about that day other than being in each other's arms at the end of it. Would I have traded it all in for a wedding on a beach? Totally. But I think every bride says the same thing after her wedding.

It was all a huge testament to the Lord's Faithfulness. As soon as we kissed the bride and walked out of the church, the sun blinded us. It was absolutely gorgeous outside. We were talking to our photographer after, and while we had a wonderful day, I think she knew it wasn't what I envisioned for our pictures. SO we planned another session for around a month later, where I had my hair down and we were outside. They are gorgeous pictures. And I love them.

I never ever ever thought that I would look back at wedding pictures and smile. But now, I love to look back and see the rain on the ground when Cody saw me for the first time. It's a beautiful moment on top of a not so beautiful circumstance. You can look at pictures of me from earlier in the day when I was so sad but trying to be happy and compare them to pictures of me when I saw him. You can literally watch the sadness melt away into uncontainable joy in a single frame. It was the best moment of the entire day, and HKF is the only one that got to witness it...and the camera...but it's not the same. I love the imperfection of the dots and the icing on the cupcakes. I love That my best friend got to put each dot on the cupcakes that I iced. I love that a stranger had the heart to "smush" the dots. I love that a stranger had a big enough heart to help save a bride to be wedding cake disaster. I love that I had friends who were willing to step in and help. I love that the Sun came out just in time for our bridal party pictures and made it look like we planned a church wedding on purpose. As Jay (Our minister) said, "I guess God just wanted a wedding in a church."

Ultimately, It's been a wonderful year with the man that gave me his name. I love you more than anything in this world, Cody Gaines. I can't wait to grow your babies and watch your hair turn grey. You're everything good in my life, and I treasure the day I became your wife. Here's to another 79 years!

Psalm 139

I love my husband more than anyone in the world. In the WORLD. He makes me laugh. He frustrates the crap out of me. He inspires me as a believer. He makes me feel more pride on a daily basis than anything else. My husband is as simple as simple gets. Black and White. I am complicated. I can find all of the colors of the rainbow in the "shades of Grey." I love the Lord for creating two people who balance each other out so well. 

We started dating "officially" on November 24, 2008. On December 19, I had just met his mom (the first girl to meet his mom since high school, mind you.) We had spent the day Christmas shopping for our families and giving each other opinions about what to buy the family members that neither of us knew very well and attending his niece's birthday party (we hit 3 pretty intense milestones in one day. We're hardcore that way.)

We ate dinner with his mom and her husband and we went back to his house. We watched "ELF" to kick off the holiday season and I noticed he wasn't as talkative as he normally was. He drove me home that night and we laughed at the fact that EVERY light we came up on turned red. We lived on opposite sides of Odessa at the time and it was a pretty long drive with all of those lights. We finally got home and I was creeping up on my curfew (mom was hardcore that way). I kissed him in a hurry and started to jump out of the car. I turned around to say goodnight and out of nowhere I started to say "I love---GOODNIGHT." I ran in the house bright red and swore that I would never make eye contact with him again. That worked out about as well as stupid promises ever do, but thankfully he didn't acknowledge it the next day. He drove me home the next night and as I was getting out of the car, he grabbed my arm before I got out and said "I love you." Just as cool as cool could be. I didn't really know what to say, even though my heart screamed "YOU LOVE HIM TOO, YOU IDIOT!" And I smiled. And I said, equally cool, "Really?" Almost in a "Oh, yeah? That's cool I guess. I mean, lifetime commitment, whatever." And he said "Yep. I do. I'm in love with you." And I said "I love you too." Although my heart was pounding and my stomach skipped butterflies and went straight to an anchor inside of it. And I said "Okay. Well. See you tomorrow." "See ya, K."

And that's all I have to say about that. Let's fast forward 11 months to the proposal, shall we?
We had just finished decorating my mom and daddy's Christmas tree at their house. Before that, we had been in the car for 7 hours after visiting his family on the farm for thanksgiving. Before that, we had spent the weekend revealing my true city girl to his family that hadn't met me before. I still don't understand why he didn't dump me. We were in a hurry to get home because his mom was lovely enough to buy us a Christmas tree for his house. I had been buying things for this tree since September. It was a sad little tree. It was Six feet tall and thin…and so, so bare. But it was OUR tree. I refused to take no for an answer when he suggested we wait until the next day to decorate. We started about 9 o'clock and it took 2 hours to put all of those decorations on that tree (It still looked bare to me, so I went back and bought MORE the next day, but that's irrelevant.) We listened to Bing Crosby and Buble serenade us with Christmas Music. I noticed that Cody was walking around with his hands in his pockets. The man wouldn't chill. He walked up and down the hall and totally missed the "lighting of the tree." I plopped down in the floor and stared at the tree. I smiled as he sat down behind me and kissed my cheek. I said "It's pretty, huh?" and he didn't respond immediately. Then he said "Ya know what's prettier?" And there was my ring. Right in front of me. Just like that. I'll spare you of all the kissing that followed, but that was that. We were engaged. No speeches, No plans, No witnesses. We were just engaged.

 When I envisioned my proposal, I saw Christmas lights. I imagined frigid temperatures (yes, in west texas). I saw people watching from afar. I saw him on one knee. I saw me looking all kinds of fabulous. I imagined dancing after. I didn't imagine my hair thrown up in a ponytail. I didn't imagine my makeup to have that "12 hour" look to it. It was probably 70 outside.... but it was perfect. I will have the intimacy of THAT moment forever. I will have the sweetness of going from one phase of our relationship to the other with such a simple question. There was not a soul in sight. The only things that celebrated with us were the dogs, and they slept through the entire thing. It was Cody and Kaylea, alone in that moment, thrilled beyond all reason to be in the company of each other. And for one of the only times in our relationship, Life was simple. Life was calm. Life made sense. 

I cherish that moment more than I cherish any romantic thing he ever did. I kind of wonder if the Lord cherishes those simple intimate moments with us more than anything else. Those moments where everything else fades away and I realize that in that moment, it's me and the Lord. Anything else that mattered before becomes insignificant and I stop talking long enough just to feel the comfort and the peace of a God who loves me more than anything. Those moments where even if only for few moments, he is sufficient. Those moments where I let go of everything that I'm holding onto because I'm not strong enough to believe that God will handle it. Those moments of surrender are the sweetest moments in my personal walk with the Lord and I believe with my whole heart that he longs for them. I fight that battle everyday because let's be honest, sometimes life is tough. It's easier to trudge through than to smile and say "Lord, you handle it." Waiting is a hard game. I struggle every day with what I feel like I'm being cheated out of. But I'm not here for the things of earth. I'm here to learn to love my Jesus the way I love my husband. To trust my Jesus the way I trust my husband. To be willing to throw all caution to the wind and jump into the plan that the Lord so intricately designed before I was ever born. Yes... life is crazy, but the Lord works it out. I don't know how. But I know he's in control. Of my life. Of this crazy country. Of Japan. Of Haiti. Of Libya. Of this ENTIRE universe. I know he is faithful. I know he is constant. I know he is sovereign. And in that light, his eye is on some dumb bird that taunts me every morning while I walk to my car. His eye is on an ant that bit the snoz out of my foot. His eye is on the hurting and the broken. His eye is on the generation that will turn and seek his face before he comes back for his bride. His eye is on me, and as long as I keep that in mind, getting through today seems pretty simple.

You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, LORD, you know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  ---Psalm 139:1-16

I always thought I'd marry a cowboy...

We shared a sweet time together on our "Reminder Day."

We talked about how different life would be if we hadn't given things a whirl back in November of 2008. We talked about how things are hardly what we thought they would be this time three years ago, but they couldn't be more perfect. We talked about where the Lord is taking us. We talked about babies and when the best time for them would be. We talked about what kind of dogs we would get our kids and what we would name them. We talked about the Lord moving us from this town and into one where we could both do the things that we love to do. We talked about buying our first house and how great it will be to own the house we raise our babies in.

We ate food that cost more than we could afford. We laughed at how out of place we looked next to the snobby lawyers and doctors that surrounded us. We laughed at the people who had one too many Valentine’s Day Beverages. We held hands like it was our first date. We rolled our eyes at the people who complained about the menu. We watched the waiters stress out at trying to make sure everybody's plates were right and said a prayer of thanks for our jobs. It truly was a wonderful time together.

I mentioned to Cody that I always thought I'd marry a cowboy and he laughed hysterically. I don't know how we got on the subject or why it was so funny, but it was a memory and apparently a new joke in our home. I made cookies that we shared with coffee. We watched an episode of "House" and I mentioned that I always thought I'd marry a doctor with a cane. A cowboy doctor with a cane. We ordered the third season of LOST and I told Cody that I always thought I'd marry somebody with a British/Australian accent like Charlie’s. A British/Australian cowboy doctor with a cane (I would like to clarify that I really only intended this joke to be about a cowboy).  We fell asleep before we had the chance to say I love you, but I think we fell asleep knowing it with our whole heart. I love Valentine’s Day.

I hope you all shared a wonderful time with your Love. I hope you remembered that he or she tolerates you on days that anybody else would "accidentally" catch you on fire. I hope you were reminded of the way your life could've turned out without them. I think that even if I had a British/Australian cowboy doctor with a cane, my world would still feel empty. I think that the "cowboy" had always envisioned would have been too great of a disappointment. Yes, I would probably love his wranglers and his chaps and his boots...but not nearly as much as I love the man that walks through my door in an N-tune Shirt at the end of every day. He Lassoed (is that even a word?) my heart in his own way....not literally, which I'm thankful for, because that probably would have been a little uncomfortable. He truly is a farm boy at heart, raised on a farm in tiny town up North...he just avoided the wranglers and chaps and boots. This had to be the Lord’s will, because he probably knew I wouldn’t be able to practice self control otherwise. Although, Cody in wranglers is kind of hilarious to think about. Hum. Curiosity overwhelms me. Regardless, I'm thankful that the Lord is in control of our love story and our life together. I'm thankful that he knew that I was too controlled by my uterus to survive college without somebody's chest to bury my head and cry my guts out in. I'm thankful that he knew that Cody was going to need somebody to rescue him from the Chili he made every other night (which is the entire reason I started cooking. It was horrible). We needed somebody to hold onto when life moved too quickly...and that's exactly what the Lord gave us.

Love never fails (Even when they don't throw the bacon grease from the night before away...gag).
KG

I don't have kids, you know....

I would first like to say that this blog Layout is sad and I don't think I can commit to blogging if things stay this way. Help.

It's Valentines Day on Monday! I love Valentines Day, even if the rest of the world thinks it's just an excuse for "Hallmark to make money"and that it's "National Single Awareness day." I happen to believe that it is a day that forces you to get out of the routine that you don't even realize your married life has become. It's a day to recognize that you have been blessed with the opportunity to Love somebody with all of your heart, and I don't care who you are, everybody takes that for granted every now and then. We don't stop and say "Hey, Thank you for loving me when you hate me, and for sticking around when it would be easy to walk away, and thanks for still hugging me when I don't smell the greatest." We get so lost in work, homework, financial burdens, and remembering to eat at some point every day that we don't remember that on the night we got engaged or became "Cody and Kaylea,"  there was this uncontainable joy that we were so sure we would never be able to lose or forget about. That's usually the last thing on my mind on the days that Cody and I don't see eye to eye. All I can think about most of the time on those days is "Lord, what do I need to change about myself to not be so crazy!? What am I doing that makes me so impossible to deal with today?!?! Can you please just make me a little thicker skinned? I really don't understand what I did to you for you to make me so emotional!" And I can't help but think that the Lord rolls his eyes at me and says "You have a uterus...." (Yes. I believe the Lord rolls his eyes at me and responds with something sarcastic about my female anatomy.) I just don't think he and I could have such a wonderful love affair if he wasn't a little bit sarcastic. I think that this "commercial," "stupid," "waste of money" holiday is a beautiful "waste of a holiday." It's a day to remember that you HAVE a valentine. It's a day to remember that somebody is willing to deal with you and your uterus. It's a day to remember that everyday that you wake up beside each other and everyday that you can't stand the sight of each other...it's all apart of this Love Story that was so intricately and wonderfully designed before you were ever born...and that's worth celebrating.

That being said, my Love Story is exhausting lately, but it's been so wonderful for Cody to come sweeping in on his white horse to rescue the overly emotional princess. I really felt like I was going crazy for a few days...but in his own way, he showed me that my hormones have the issues, not me. When I finally came to the conclusion that I was going to survive and not die of an estrogen overdose, my grateful brain started thinking about the day I decided I had a crush on him. We had worked together for about a year and had never really given the other the time of day. I was in a band (we were totally meant for fame) and Cody recorded us for a demo. I noticed how hot he was when I finally had a conversation with him that night.Over the next week or so there was some pretty heavy flirtation, but neither of us really acknowledged the elephant in the room (which is kind of a dumb expression, because if there was an elephant in the room, I can assure you that I would not be.) The next day at work, my mom came in and talked about some pretty girl with a kid hugging on Cody in the Odessa Store (I worked in Midland.) Of course this was not acceptable to my flirt laws, so I picked up the phone to chew on him for flirting with me if he was going to be hugging all over some chick with a kid. But when he picked up the phone, the only thing I could say was "...I don't have a kid, you know." Famous last words.

It was another month before we became official, and we went out on a limb when we chose to begin our love affair. He had just accepted a job in Abilene and was expected to leave in February (we started dating in November). I was starting college with the goal of heading to A&M by the next fall. He was 6 1/2 years older than me and a little nervous to tell my dad that he had the hots for his 18 year old daughter. "Um, Hey Derrick..er...Mr. Derri...Killam. I know that I am your employee and that I just told you that I would go to Abilene to manage the store...and I'm totally thrilled...but um, I would like to date your daughter until then. Just Look at the bright side, it's only three months from now and then I'm out like a set of rims at a puff daddy concert. And I know I'm like 75 years older than her and that she graduated like 6 months ago, but what can I say?... when we kissed there was fireworks."

It didn't go that way at all...at least I don't think it did. I never asked. All I know is that dad said yes. Cody and I both had battle scars from previous relationships and didn't know anything about how to be in a functional relationship, but we decided it was worth a shot anyway. Talk about falling fast, but that's another story.

The point of this novel is that I don't see Valentines Day as "Valentines Day." I've started referring to it as "Reminder Day." I don't expect diamonds. I don't expect romance from my farm boy. I just expect a date where I'm allowed to Be corny. To Be dumb. To Be annoyingly affectionate like the days before we shared a checking account. To Remember the journey that brought us together. To Restore the joy of the early days. I know that my excitement for this date has allowed me to remember so many memories from the last two years, and I can't wait to see that hunk of burning love later when he gets home from San Antonio. Embrace the memories and the future at the same time. Sure, your best days are ahead of you, but don't forget what brought you to them. 

Also, Sorry if you're single and lonely. Nobody FORCED you to read it. 

KG